Part III: We Know it's Rotten, Yet We Do Nothing
Country that lost all of Slovakia and parts of Romania, Serbia and Croatia after World War I, and never stopped griping about it
Hungary
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Country that lost all of Bohemia, Bosnia, Croatia, Hungary, Slovakia, Slavonia, Slovenia and parts of Italy, Poland, Romania, Serbia and God knows what else after World War I, and stopped griping about it as soon as the first busload of tourists showed up
Austria
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Most overhyped threat of foreign invasion since
the collapse of the U.S.S.R.
Balkan refugees
German businessmen
Foreigners bidding up the local market for "luxury" real estate
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Least overhyped threat of foreign invasion since
the collapse of the U.S.S.R.
British weekenders
Hippy chain migration
European wannabe aristocrats with family crest rings
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Ugliest building hastily erected to welcome Hungary's new overlords after the communist takeover of 1945
The former Stalin Housing Estate, District XIV
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Ugliest building hastily erected to welcome Hungary's new overlords after the capitalist takeover of 1990
The East-West Business Center
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Ugliest building hastily erected to welcome Hungary's new overlords after the Fidesz takeover of 1998
The National Theater
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Good street-level indicator of growing
social inequality in Hungary
The rise of urban homelessness in Budapest
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Better street-level indicator of growing
social inequality in Hungary
If you know the right people, you can park
your car anywhere you want
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Local institution allegedly dedicated to exposing the horrors of communism, but which instead just makes it look goofy and harmless
Szobor Park (Statue Park)
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Local institution allegedly dedicated to exposing the horrors of communism and fascism, but which makes both look irresistibly stylish, especially fascism
The Terror Háza (House of Terror)
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Local institution allegedly dedicated to exposing the horrors of communism and fascism, but which makes both look irresistibly stylish, especially communism
Central European (Soros) University's Galeria Centralis
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Decrepit, foul-smelling communist-era mediocrity whose continuing appeal we have a hard time understanding
The Trabant
László Kovács
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Politician of Germano-Hungarian origin famous for converting dirty sex into political power
Cicciolina (Illona Staller)
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Politician of Germano-Hungarian origin famous for converting political power into dirty sex
Tamás Deutsch
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Former left-wing Hungarian leader who most looks like
Uncle Fester from the Addams Family
Mátyás Rákosi
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Former left-wing Hungarian leader who most looks like
C3PO from Star Wars
Péter Medgyessy
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Former right-wing Hungarian leader who most looks like
Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's Island
Miklós Horthy
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Right-wing Hungarian politician who most looks like
Chewbacca from Star Wars
István Csúrka
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Right-wing Hungarian leader who most looks like a braying jackass
Viktor Orbán
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Most successful technique used to confuse tourists
and separate them from their money
"I know a nice bar right near Váci street
where we can have a drink"
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"When did you last have a drink?"
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The price list at the Gellért baths
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