Sparks Fly as Feckless, Embarrassing Hungarian President Meets Feckless, Embarrassing British Prince

If you end up spending an hour stuck in traffic over the next few days because the police have cordoned off the streets to allow a cavalcade of limousines to pass, don't get angry, because it's all for a good cause. Just kidding: It's because Prince Charles is in town.

The inanity of the visit was made quickly apparent when Charles grabbed headlines by saying that he is "proud to be one thirty-second Hungarian myself, through my Great Great Great Grandmother, Countess Rhedey," which reminded us of that great old Onion spoof about the "Man Who's 1/16th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage." Except twice as silly, because the imaginary "1/16 Irish" man in the Onion parody was twice as Irish as Charles is Hungarian. And it gets better, because this Countess Claudine Rhédey von Kis-Rhéde (right) was denied the title of Duchess after marrying the Duke of Württemberg - just like Charles' own wife got stuck with being called "Duchess" rather than "Princess" - though in Rhédey von Kis-Rhéde's case the problem seemed to be that the rest of Charles' stuck-up German family thought she was a Hungarian peasant, rather than a home-wrecking shemale. Meanwhile, Claudine ended up being thrown from her horse and trampled to death during a pointless protocol event like the ones the Prince of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg Wales is currently snarling up traffic across Budapest for right now. History is so interesting, isn't it?

Since it seems a little unfair to single out Britain's heir-in-waiting for abuse, we'll just add that we agreed with him wholeheartedly when he said yesterday that he considers himself a "kindred spirit" with Hungary's pathetically muddle-headed President László Sólyom, who, perhaps not by coincidence, gave Charles a medal. Now would someone please give us a drink…