welcome, suckers!
An Open Letter to Austria, the Former Co-Country / Oppressors to our Left
Austria
Österreich
Nation of Germans in Denial
Dear Austria, Austrians, and Austrian Media:
Nearly two years ago, following the open season on Hungarians in Slovakia, we prepared a statement addressed to our Slovak brethren to the north. While we are glad to say that unlike in Serbia where assaulting Hungarians is something of a national sport, your patronizing attitude is just becoming a bit too much for us to bear.
What caused us to finally pen this piece was this article from the Austrian Times, which focuses on how some Hungarian wine producers use dodgy methods to color their wine. While we have no reason to doubt the veracity of the claim, it just seems like another excuse to piss on Hungary.
Speaking about the credibility of the Austrian Times, they ran a piece on an eight foot long snake terrorizing a bus in Budapest. When tabloid of record Blikk is more credible than you by including a picture of the eight inch snake in question, that just gets us wondering… Austria, have you been busy slagging off the country you used to oppress because, let's face it, there hasn't been all that much positive news coming from you lately?
Although you're currently playing host to the Euro 2008 competition, after dumping us in favor of Switzerland, the country that invented efficiency and organization, you've managed to even outdo Belgium in Euro 2000 for the distinction of shittiest performance by a host country in an international football tournament. How bad is your team? We look forward to playing you. That's how bad.
Then there was that condescending article in Die Presse dissing our two biggest politicians. Let's make it clear that when it comes to taking the piss out of our politicians, we do it best, not to mention none of our leading low-wattage lights in charge have a file on them by war criminal hunting groups.
And let's be honest, polluting our rivers and building blockades on our common border just does not make for good neighbors. While you may still retain some feeling of superiority above us Hungarians, let's not forget that in 1849, we had you beat, and it was only a last-minute carrier pigeon to Tsar Nicholas I that saved your sorry empire.
Austria, land of gorgeous mountains, shitty football, Jörg Haider and people who keep others in their basement, while it'd be quite cheeky of us to declare that everything in Hungary is clean as a whistle when it's obviously not, it looks like you've also got some things to take care of yourselves before you start throwing stones in your glass house.
With Love,
The Pestiside Staff on behalf of Hungary
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SITE FEEDI can't help but wonder who, besides the Austrians, likes the Austrians at all. They are a bunch of racist, necrophile, title-focused weirdos with the most annoying accent.
Wasn't it the Austrians, several years ago, put anti-freeze in their wine?
Bravo/Brava!!! And in the full interests of disclosure, I am 1/4 Hungarian, and 3/4 Tirolese (Italia)(also formerly ruled by Austria).
I'm preserving this excellent screed.
I've lived in 3 countries over the past 16 years and the Austrians are the biggest bunch of twats I've ever come to know. Example: I've bought an item about a year ago through e-bay from an Austrian seller, and after I complained about the item's condition (not as advertised, damaged, etc.), the seller literally laughed in my face and then started dissing Hungarians and how his time is expensive to go into this kind of discussion with me afterwards. He knew the item was faulty because he wouldn't meet me in Vienna to conduct the transaction personally. His reaction afterwards simply reinforced my opinion of the Austrians.
I can't believe this szarkeverő divide and conquer shit complete with a chorus of moron praise singers! As if any nation in the Carpathian Basin lived better now than we lived in the Monarchy! We PROSPERED, we were a MAJOR WORLD POWER. Austria gave us the only male monarch ever canonized vs. what we got from the English and the French. Which reminds me: the Hungarian wine industry is completely owned by the French (who as we all know ARE lower than snake shit) So go and ask them what they put in Hungarian wine (to not mention our wells…)
@Guinea: Tirol "ruled" by Austria? Are you on crack? *It is* Austria!
Pávaszem, still bitter over your noble titles not being worth anything today? Austria-Hungary was a major world power inside the textbooks produced within her borders. Outside of that not so much. Also, Austria giving us the only male monarch ever canonized? Kings St. Stephen and St. Laszlo may beg to differ, added that Karl Habsburg was merely beautified. As for Tyrol, the southern half of old Tyrol is known today as Bolzano-Bozen, so that Ginnie was somewhat, if not entirely correct.
Forget Bush's Axis of Evil, Europe has it's own Axis of Ultimate Evil and Boredom (for isn't the face of Evil boredom itself).
Austria (for so many reasons that we are all aware off, except most Austrians themselves because it's better to live in self-denying, secret Nazi, weirdo sex stuff bliss).
Switzerland (they are more tooled up than the US Army, they kept nearly all the money they banked for the Third Reich and they do things to goats for fun - see Austria too).
Belgium (weirdo sex incest again, horrendous moustaches and generally just pretending to be French, but badly).
Austria, Belgium, Switzerland.....
Clearly they are the true threat to world peace and the most evil countries ever. Let's all petition Putin or Bush to blow seven shades of crappola out of them.
Hé paraszt! Are you calling my king ugly? The correct term is "beatified" not "beautified" or "canonized" (you are right there) although his His Apostolic Majesty is still commonly known as Blessed King Charles now. And, there is only one such as far as I know... Nobility not worth anything? You obviously haven't seen http://tinyurl.com/5efmhj or heard http://oe1.orf.at/inforadio/82395.html of the Esterházy estate. Trying to deny that Austria-Hungary was a great power is a joke: A simple Google search will prove you wrong. & since you are such an expert on South Tyrol (Südtirol) pls. explain why more than half of a solidly German province was annexed in the name of ethnic & national self determination to Italy?
Okay, you got me there. I don't admit to being up on my different classifications of Catholic holy folks. I never claimed annexing southern Tyrol to Italy was the right thing, (in fact the areas where plebiscites were held voted to stay with Austria), I'm just saying that southern Tyrol is today a part of Italy. As for the nobility, with few exceptions, (Széchenyi), they were parasites on the nation, which is why I'm not the least bit sad to see them without authority today and actually having to pay taxes. I'm not suggesting, however, that the current crop of idiots is any better though.
"(in fact the areas where plebiscites were held voted to stay with Austria)"
Like, I dunno, Sopron?
Actually, everywhere they held plebiscites in Germany, Austria and Hungary, regardless of the ethnic makeup, the people voted to stay with their country. It got in the way of "self-determination," so they put a quick end to that.
Paraszt,
"everywhere they held plebiscites" - interesting claim, could you give some examples.
Unfortunately that book is in the library now, so I'm going off memory, but Sopron was the only part of Hungary to enjoy a plebiscite, and despite being ethnically majority German, voted to stay with Hungary. In Austria, it was plebiscites over two parts of Karinthia, and in the case of Germany, there were two plebiscites if I recall correctly, in the Silesia region. All votes resulted in a wish to stay with their old country.
Paraszt,
"in the Silesia region", does this imply that results of the plebiscite were ignored. Silesia formerly part of Germany is now divided between Poland and the Czech republic?
Adrian, I meant parts of Silesia, not all of it, and don't forget that today's Western Poland was until the end of WWII Eastern Germany. Poland's borders migrated west after the war.
Paraszt,
So were there any examples where a plebiscite was held and its result ignored?
Adrian,
To my knowledge, no. They simply saw the way plebiscites were going, and didn't dare enact any more.
Paraszt,
I hope I'm not trying your patience, but...do you have examples of plebiscites that were proposed but then abandoned?
I can't give you a specific example as I'm not in the vicinity of a university library at the moment, but given how all of the plebiscites went in favor of staying with the old country, it would then logically follow that any planned plebiscites would not be held.
@Paraszt: The rich have never paid taxes and what our fathers were still decides how well we'll do in life. Nobility though were bred and trained for the responsibilities they were obliged to fulfill ("noblesse oblige") They have not been the parasites "leftists" would have you believe. On the contrary, they were pioneers in science, industry and agriculture and lived very hard, disciplined & duty bound, productive lives like the Esterházys I already mentioned or the Apponyis and Tiszas in Hungary, the Du Ponts in France and the US, the Cecils in Britain. Noble men were also the first genuine Europeans. With the notable exceptions of such morally and mentally unstable defectors as Széchenyi, Károlyi or Maclean (Cambridge Five) a century later in England. They are popular with and popularized by the same cuckoos that have tried to replace them (& look at the wonderful results)
Re. 'plebiscites..' Elections in general are usually farces and the plebiscites after WWI were no exceptions. The guiding principle of the English making new borders in Europe was as it has always been, to set conquered people at each other's throats as much as possible. Iraq got the same treatment… & again, look at the wonderful results.
Pávaszem, thanks for showing your true feelings and calling the greatest Hungarian a "morally and mentally unstable defector." I can go back to plowing my fields now.
@Pahaszt: Who told you he was the greatest Hungarian? Was he greater than St. Stephen or the Raven King http://tinyurl.com/3guyxz? What an insult! If you weren't a pahhaszt I would have to challenge you to a duel!
#First austrian comment!!!
I'm a little bit irritated! First I took it personal, because I'm an austrian but after I read this article I felt like before. You're not attacking me. But isn't this article a little bit to heavy, putting all austrian together? Everywhere there are bad people! We all know that.
You're dissing our history, our politics and our goverment. Okay I'm not that happy either.
How many austrian have commented this letter?
Hm...
Hungary is now bankrupt. This is an issue and I'm sure you will receive help from all the countries you blamed.
