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Reader Tip: Talking Back at Szimpla May Lead to Serious Complications
A brief mention of local hangout Szimpla Kert (and Kazinczy utca, the street it sits on) in this item on Thursday led to the following not-so-brief reader comment/report about an incident that allegedly took place there late last week. It came via our anonymous "tipjar," so we have no idea who sent it, and can't vouch for its veracity, but it seems plausible enough to make us consider doing our drinking in the safety of our flat from now on. Discuss among yourselves.
Speaking of Szimpla and Kazinczy utca, I'd like to share a rather disturbing incident that occurred there on Thursday evening/Friday early morning… it was approaching dawn when I and a few friends, in the midst of a pleasant-enough debauch at Jelen, decided to head over to Szimpla to check out the scene. Staggering down Kazinczy we discovered a few burly bouncers blocking the entrance to Szimpla, informing us that they had closed for the night. While two of my friends noisily and annoyingly lobbied the bouncers to let us in for just one beer, I suggested we head to Szoda and walked on a few steps… when I heard one of my friends bellowing curses in apparent severe pain. I turned around and headed back to the Szimpla entrance, yelling "Hey, what the fuck is going on here" with arms outstretched in a questioning, non-threatening manner, when suddenly a guy wearing a ski mask emerged from the flock of bouncers, approached me, and spritzed me directly in the eyes with pepper spray.
It took me a moment to realize what had just happened, and then when the brain-piercing sting of mace enveloped my vision, I too joined my friend in bellowing curses at the bouncers, one of whom started a brief fistfight with another of my friends who at least wasn't blinded first, sportingly enough. Eventually we managed to stumble our way off Kazinczy, and after several dousings, by the middle of the next day I no longer desired clawing out my own retinas to hopefully relieve the pain. This was nothing less than a full-scale act of assault by the thugs... er, employees of Szimpla - though my friends were being obnoxious, they never so much as touched the bouncers before the ski mask-clad coward sprayed my friend, and I approached the scene with my hands outstretched at my sides, in no way posing any harm, having done nothing but inquire forcefully what had just happened. Keep in mind all of this occurred on the sidewalk - none of us were ever in the club at any time, never posing any threat to the patrons or employees, and they go and attack us with noxious chemicals? Well, I say FUCK SZIMPLA KERT. It's not even a cool place to hang out anymore; it used to be fun in a low-key oversized-rathole-dive kinda way, but now it's totally sold out (a safe thing to say about any club with its own boutique), crowded with douchebag yuppies, and hiring goons to terrorize its own patrons - which brings me to the point of this rather drawn-out tip. Since retelling this cautionary tale over the weekend, I've heard many people say that they too, or their friends, have suffered abuse from the bouncers at Szimpla, either verbal or physical. So, if others have similar tales to tell, I would like to ask the kind readers of Pestiside to write in with more accounts of brutality at Szimpla, a place that's supposed to be a laid-back chill-out haven. I think it's a sign that this "ruin bar" is taking itself way too seriously and is no longer about fun if they're allowing their employees to attack innocent bystanders during a mild occurrence of raised voices... and meanwhile, if you see a guy in a ski mask next time you're even in the vicinity of Szimpla, cover your eyes quick, because otherwise he'll likely be the last thing you see for awhile.. other than the red flashes of blinding, unwarranted pain.
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COMMENT!Yes, when I am finally allowed to write my 'best of/worst of the budapest bar scene' for chew, Szimpla will be on the shit list. Burly bouncers aside, they short-change you like a mofo - and switch from English to Hungarian if you call them on it. It is sad, really, as this was a former standout spot.
My only qualm with Szimpla was with the staff, and only just once. My girlfriend went upstairs to order a sandwich, and had the audacity to ask for mustard. She asked twice, politely, and received a cup almost literally thrown at her.
I don’t expect phenomenal service, so this wasn’t all that new to me. So, I went back up and asked for more mustard (the nerve), and received some foul language stated quietly while a walked away. I threw a loud baszmeg back in her general direction and called it even.
I've never had an issue with the doormen, but I have noticed that the female staff are a lot less friendlier than the male staff, generally speaking. One of my gripes is that the place has become something of a tourist trap.
To be fair to Szimpla, the bouncers may or may not be employed by them. A friend who owned a pub told me how it works.
The bouncers turn up at the newly-opened bar/club and say they will provide security for a cut of the takings. These are the type of people with the type of connections that you don't refuse. Job done.
So I don't know whether Szimpla the establishment can be held responsible or not.
While we're counting up the insults and slights, a friend of mine got called a "negy-szemu fasz" ("bespectacled dick") once on the way out of Szimpla by a bouncer for no reason. Faszmajom!
While I have to agree about Szimpla becoming "commerical" if you will, I have have never had a problem at szimpla kert nor any of its offspring like szimpla kiss over the past 5 years. (aside from the typical obnoxious attitude on occassion but once you are a regular the crap stops and you actually get decent service) Nor have I ever seen a problem. Although when told by the employees the place is closed I respect their long night of work and just say goodnight without arguing. Many of them work second jobs or go to school during the day. I am not saying the incident did not occur but it is very surprising given their uneventful past history. I also take the accuser's account with a grain of salt since they were drunk.
In light of recent editorial disputes about accuracy of comments towards vendors I am quite surprised that Pestiside would publish this article without having third party verification of the event or give Szimpla the chance to give their version of the story. Is there a police report for example? I mean really the Szimpla group is being publically accused of unlawfully assaulting its patrons which could seriously impact their revenue from the expat and tourist communities. This isn't a simple bitching about a price increase.
@Kurt: "It came via our anonymous "tipjar," so we have no idea who sent it, and can't vouch for its veracity..."
should mention that the bouncers for the "ruin gardens" Kertes and various clubs in the inner 7th are not there to control violence or for restricting entrance but to keep the noise down. There is one thing that puts fear into bar owners in the 7th it's not the mafia, employee theft or the tax man it's pensioners(or anyone else) calling in noise complaints after 11. They can get shutdown after enough complaints. One of my favorite spots is in the shitter now for this. So you will see big bouncers putting their fingers to their lips and blowing you a "shhhhhh" if you make noise in front of their establishment. Real intimidating behavior I know.
So these guys self admitted they were drunk, making noise and being annoying at around 4 in the morning in front of the bouncers whose only job is to keep noise down and not leaving. What did they expect? Also drunk guys are the easiest to kick the shit out of and all they got was pushed down and pepper sprayed? They got off easy by western standards. They easily could have been put in the hospital for a long time.
Everyone who lives in Budapest knows these simple rules.
This is a non-issue.
The pepper-sprayee speaks - it was I, Nick Robertson, who submitted the warning to the Budapest community about this violent act that happened to me on Thursday night at Szimpla, and no, I have no police report to verify the incident (escaping the scene and regaining vision seemed paramount to calling the cops at that moment), but I felt a need to inform the community about this brutality to hopefully spare fellow revelers of such needless viciousness. Are you actually ignorant enough to believe, Kurt, that being noisy is sufficient grounds for being assaulted physically with chemical agents or fists? We "got off easy" by WHAT "western standards" - the Old West? Yeah, I'm glad we weren't shot for endangering poor Szimpla's business permit, but it sure seems to me that violence is not an appropriate answer to voices, no matter how loud... I still say FUCK SZIMPLA KERT, watch out for that ski-masked yellow-bellied bastard who was working in coordination with Szimpla management somehow, and I renew the call for people to share their own negative experiences there. Thank you, Pestiside, for facilitating responsible free speech in Budapest.
Nick,
I wasn't there and I didn't see what happened neither did anyone else reading this website except for you. As I said before maybe its exactly as you described it. Or maybe you were drunk guys making a racket and made contact with a bouncer. Budapest isn't a playground.
But before pestiside posts an article, regardless of who the author is, which slanders a club which has never been known for assaulting their clients in their entire existence they should get both sides of the story.
As for noise in the street. We live here don't yell in the fucking streets in the early morning. I have to deal with yelling assholes late at night on my street and it's only the Hungarians who shut up when told to, not the fucking tourists or foreign students. I have no sympathy if you were told to keep quiet and kept on yelling. No one would actually.
There has never, ever been any violence by bouncers in Szimpla or Szoda or any Kerte for that matter in their existence. (someone correct me otherwise) So people who have lived in Budapest for a while would question the objectivity of your story and your innocence in the matter.
@Kurt: I'm afraid we are going to have to ask you for some proof that you "have to deal with yelling assholes late at night on my street and it's only the Hungarians who shut up when told to, not the fucking tourists or foreign students." We've checked with our legal and standards departent, and they said your comment tends to slander fucking tourists and foreign students. On the other hand, maybe you can put us in touch with some fucking tourists and foreign students who can give us their side of the story.
erik
Well I guess this means we are both devoid of substantiated facts.
Just for the hey of it, I am happy to add my own story of icky brutality at Szimpla (thought this was at the indoor one).
A poorly behaved, drunken bloke was thrown out by another patron, who, proceeded to bloody the guy's face and leave him unconscious in the snow. The szimpla manager was right there, watching the whole thing. When he did nothing to interceed, I asked him if he shouldn't call an ambulance, and was told in no uncertain terms that I had no right to speak as I was an ignorant foreigner.
An ambulance was called, but not by the Szimpla mofo, who just stood there and grinned.
And hey Kurt, yeah, let's all go around macing people who are drunk! They deserve it! That will solve things, ya chucklehead.
that's right BitterPill you were there and saw the whole thing. My apologies. I personally would much, much rather get maced than beaten upon by several guys if being an obnoxious drunk causing problems.
So these are our options now: Being beaten to a pulp, or maced. *Sigh* Anyway, I will come to Kurt's defense in one area; it does suck to have people out yammering on the street at 4:00 a.m., and most of these places seem to do a pretty good job of hushing people without resorting to physical violence. So I can see the temptation to lash out when people refuse to play ball. Still, Nick R's story does sound like a pretty outrageous abuse of (un)official power, and I know the guy (or someone with his name) and he is a straight-shooter, so I will take him at his word. Meanwhile, MeMyself's story makes me wonder if one shouldn't carry mace while eating out, just to keep the pincers in line. :)
So, if you want to get someone to be quiet - pepper spray them. I didn't realize it acted as a silencing agent - I'll have to remember that.
I am inclined to believe Nick's story due to the rather rude demeanor of the bouncers at szimpla. The enforcement of absolute silence outside of one of the major clubs in the city center is rather unrealistic.
And, I know unsubstantiated claim, it tends to be drunks shouting Hungarian outside my windows at night - not the fucking tourists and fucking foreign students.
As for Szimpla staff - they definitely overcharge if they think they can get away with it. I can go up and get a couple of beers for one price, while a friend visiting from the US will go up and be charged an extra 500 HUF rather regularly.
Pepper spray as an "instrument" to quiet the masses sounds a lot like something that would have happened here in Budapest, I don't know... say in the early 40's.
Kurt,
Your Machiavellian rhetoric really hearkens back to a lost era...
One of those fucking bouncer retards will be shot soon. you will see, and I will say "Told you so"
Ah... reminds me of the glory days at the Bahnhof in the 1990s... watered down drinks, loud music, getting roughed up by the bouncers...
Kurt:
I am referring to a different incident. Read the post.
And pepper spray is quite legal in Hungary. You can buy it at any gun store. Chucklehead.
If I may make a comparison with the Stockholm-scene. In Sweden pepper spray is illegal and if you would get in to this kind of troubles with the bouncers you would first be really beaten up and then arrested by the police and charged with aggravated assault on the bouncers. Basically no one would believe your story and you would get convicted to at least an hefty fine.
So, in comparison these guys got away rather easy. If you are visiting/want to visit a place with bouncers, then you do take a risk. You can never win against them. They have all the rights and you have none. The only thing you can do is choose a place without bouncers. The "bad" thing is probably you will meet more Hungarians.
Ironjack seem to have an attitude problem, so he should move to Sweden. Not so long ago some guys kidnapped 3 bouncers and tortured them. They used an electrical drill to penetrate the bouncers knee-caps etc. In Sweden we have not had any school-shootings yet, but we had several shootings, some fatal, at bouncers from people who were not let in. Maybe we should export the IronJacks of Hungary to Sweden?
Then there is Stockholm syndrome, not quite the same as what Viking was referring to. Stockholm syndrome would, on the other hand, make a good case for Nick returning to Szimpla Kert.
http://standingonthebox.blogspot.com/
Great blog describing dealing with drunk and difficult club patrons from a NYC bouncer's perspective. Perspective IS everything. The next time I stop in Szimpla I have to get the bouncers side of the story. I'm very curious how different the two stories will be. Better remember to bring my swimming goggles :-)
DEAR VIKING:
I don't have an atttitude problem, I have a problem with a bunch of retarded rednecks that think they are the owners of a place just because they "work" at the door, it's an educational probelm and a consecuence of the "delincuent-wanna look bad" culuture in Budapest.Hope those dudes won't met any dude with a german glock, like for example...me.
Viszlát!
DEAR IRONJACK:
Nice to hear, but I do not think that a "dude with a german glock" would upset so many, then Glock is an Austrian product, even if they do have their HQ in Deutsch Wagram, which if they have not moved it lately, is still in Austria.
that wouldn't happen if they didn't contract retards for bouncers.make a gang and kick the crap out of them!!
the problem is the bouncers' relationship to the club; their interests aren't in good business. they're just skimming money from simpla, and simpla likely has little choice about hiring them, or control over their behavior (as previously mentioned). do they care if simpla gets replaced or shut down? no, they'll just stand at the door of some other place (not being capable of much else).
it's the same in many of the office buildings - the "security companies" are not necessarily a sector subject to open market forces.
the country is young, the self-regulating systems (thugs beat people, people beat politicians, politicians beat police, police beat thugs) are yet in their infancy, expect to meet infants.
I first went to Szimpla Kert when it was a single courtyard in a different building and about three people knew how to get there (didn't find the way back on my own for years after that). All this time I never heard of anyone being assaulted there. Seen many drunken British stag parties stumble through the gates (yes, it's a tourist trap now, but hey, they also serve more than three kinds of drinks) and they have never been treated as anything but benign idiots. Never been short-changed either. It's true however that I'm a native and when my English boyfriend goes to ask for a pint they always automatically give him two, but an extra pint never posed a real challenge for him. I'm not saying that nothing bad could ever happen at Szimpla, I would just like to state for the record that me and my friends have always found it extremely pleasent.
it is all your fault for living in such a shitty fucking country...move out of hungary, the place is like a time bomb packed with failure, all the men are pissed off because the infrastructure is too corrupt to pay them properly, moreover their wives and daughters have to suck dick for extra money and this stresses them out so they drink all day, throw a bunch of booze on what is basically congential depression and boom, you've got the rudest, coldest most quick to useless violence and animosity motherfuckers on the planet.
The whole magyar landfill is a dump...period, you should expect worse things to happen and you are very lucky you didnt call the cops.
the voice of reason:
Why not check out this link:
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
I gotta disagree with you about the 'quick to useless violence' comment - I'd vote for America on that score. Or Israel.
