Enter Sandman: Budapest-Bamako, The Story So Far

Since our esteemed publisher rode off into the African sunset on the Budapest-Bamako Rally, we haven't heard much from him, except for two garbled messages. The first, received from the outskirts of Budapest said just "lost already" and the second, sent from Spain said the trip so far "sucked," but that was after a butt-numbing 1000 km stretch through southern Europe in a single day. Fortunately, the ill-advised expedition's official site has more verbose descriptions of the thrills and spills so far.

Day 0: It turns out that Budapest-Bamako is a misnomer, teams are also setting off from Bratislava and London.

Day 1: On January 13, the 250 strong official party sets off from Heroes' Square at 8:30 am, waved goodbye by several hundred tearful onlookers. This year's event features a hitch-hiking race as well as the usual touring and stricter race categories. Things got off to a bad start when the Tiba Motorsport team broke down on the start line and left two-and-a-half hours late. The first big story was that a team called "Cigánygyerek az égből" (one or more gypsy children falling from the sky is a lot like flying pink elephants - very rare) begged to join the party at Körmend, despite not having registered and lacking the necessary visas, vaccinations and GPS equipment. In the spirit of the event, the Lada Niva was accepted to the race immediately. Team 24 broke down and was towed to Villach by team 27. The Alsópetény mayor's team also broke down and were forced to attend a funeral in a nearby village before they could get the car fixed.

Day 2: The teams set of from Venice at 7 am, without the 23 year-old Dacia that several other racers saw letting off serious amounts of smoke the previous day. The mayor broke down again today and, as it was Sunday and Italy, had to wait until the next day for repairs. The team gunning for the towing world record was held up by the law, which prohibits towing on the motorway. It later turned out that they had abandoned their attempt and were continuing in their Nissan. There was an additional task set that day, too: To find Tina Turner's house on the French Riviera. One team not only located the house, but also stole a letter from her postbox to prove it.

Day 3: The rally party bus was robbed during the night in France, but the DJ equipment was not taken. At 1102 km, this was the longest and "suckiest" stretch of the tour. The London contingent joined the fun in southern Spain and team 37 rejoined the group after leaving their passports in Venice. D'oh.

Day 4: The first team to arrive in Africa was the Trabant cabrio team, which landed on the black continent a day earlier than planned, but was immediately held up after being arrested for using counterfeit money. One team was robbed by phony policemen south of Barcelona and the Fem Fatal girls were locked into a quarry after getting lost on a geo challenge. Those that arrived in Africa on time were able to enjoy a rest day and duly wheeled out a sofa destined to be presented as a "throne for a tribal leader." In the meantime, it was good for a couple of beers.

Day 5: Those that set off on the following two-day stage before the sun came up were immediately hamstrung by a fog which prevented them from "seeing past the end of the bonnet." Once the sun came up, it was bright sunshine and north African desert all the way as the first TV crews joined the fray. The Fem Fatal team were looking at their GPS device upside down and got hopelessly lost, team 100 spotted the red Ferrari of King of Morocco Mohamed VI in the city of Fes and all the wacky racers took on their first off-road stretch.

Days 6 and 7: 875 kilometers in 13 hours on stony, dirt roads. Sounds like a nightmare and it probably was. The Lada team lost a wheel, and there were several breakdowns, including that of the O-Play team in their 1971 Beetle and the race's only Hummer. However, the drop-top Trabant passed this particular test with flying colors, even though the team lost the windshield to a loose stone and completed the stage wearing ski masks. One of the main dangers was provided by the local children, who threw stones at the cars as they passed and, in one case, even clambered on board.

Day 8: There were no extra tasks scheduled for this day because of the threat of roadside land mines, so it was onwards and southwards along the Atlantic coast for 540 kilometers. A local whose hobby, according to other villagers, was to "frighten motorcyclists" was injured by the onrushing Gusztáv Katona, who suffered only minor injuries and was able to continue. The main event that evening were efforts to "liquidate" all remaining alcohol before entering Mauritania, where booze is banned, and negotiating a minefield and 400 more kilometers.

Day 9: This was the first sandy stage of the tour and an preview of the spectacular dunes to come the following day. Several drivers were seen sipping beers at the wheel in a clear breach of BB rules. The "gipsy children from the sky" competitor mentioned earlier is still going strong, despite lacking all the necessary travel accessories, including visas, vaccinations and GPS. His travel secrets remain his own. Of the 20 remaining teams (two dropped out), only six completed this stage in time after many were held up at the Kafka border as the race entered seriously third world Africa.

To be continued...