Resistance is Light as Russians Invade Budapest

If you're in Budapest, you probably already know that the city has been turned upside-down by an almost 500-strong delegation of Russians accompanying current Kremlin big-daddy Vladimir Putin. According to official communiqués and various news reports, Putin is in Budapest for a day-and-a-half long visit to discuss a variety of important topics, most notably the position of Russain companies in Hungary, especially the deeply sinister Gazprom. Here are some of the highlights of the summit so far, by which of course we mean the low points:

Over the past 24 hours, more than 1,000 anti-Russian demonstrators in Budapest have been rounded up and shot by Interior Ministry troops acting with the assistance of the Russian security services. Just kidding! Then again, according to hirszerzo.hu the police did prevent protestors from picketing Putin during his visits to the Castle District and Parliament, allowing only 10 anti-Putins for each Putin at both locations. Meanwhile, almost 100 cars have been towed as streets throughout the capital have been cleared of automobiles.

According to right-wing daily Magyar Nemzet, Putin is probably not going to meet with opposition leader Viktor Orbán in private due to "pressure from the Hungarian government." Meanwhile, the former KGB agent reportedly requested a private meeting with former Prime Minister and ex-commie spy Péter Medgyessy. While the meeting has caused outrage among Hungary's anti-communists, we would suggest that people not jump to conclusions in a way that may be hurtful to the former PM and his family - maybe Putin just wants to pork Medgyessy's slut daughter.

While Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsány has said that a "balanced and improving" relationship with Russia is crucial for Hungary, Magyar Nemzet correctly pointed out that it doesn't mean jack shit for the Russians, who crap things bigger than us. At the same time, MN hypothesizes, Moscow may want to use its "balanced and improving" relationship with Hungary to show the world that it isn't so evil and twisted, even though it is, big-time.

According to hirtv.hu Gyurcsány criticized the politics of the Orbán government during his press conference with Putin. He said that after the political changes, Russian-Hungarian relations were "mistrustful" for longer than necessary. He also quaintly pretended not to speak Russian.

Putin said Russia regretted having invaded Hungary back in 1956, while pointing out that Boris Yeltsin already apologized back in November 1992 during his meetings with former (and now deceased) Prime Minister József Antall and former State President Árpád Göncz, suggesting he thinks Hungary should just shut up about the whole thing, or else get re-invaded.