What the Whole "Love, Actually" Business Actually Means
Okay, we're back again - and not a minute too soon, because it seems that in our absence a lot of you have lost your friggin' minds. We are speaking of the now-sorta-almost-world famous Ferenc Gyurcsány film cameo brouhaha, which you can (and probably already have) read about here.
Basically, what happened was that the Hungarian Prime Minster, who has a reputation for being a bit of a stiff for a guy in his early 40s, made a short video spoof in which he inserted himself into a clip from the film "Love Actually" in which Hugh Grant plays a British Prime Minister who has a reputation for being a bit of a stiff for a guy in his early 40s. The clip was allegedly made as a wedding present for his spokesman, but was then leaked out, causing smallish headlines from London to Sydney. While we frankly don't give a shit about this obvious piece of manufactured news - that's why you probably didn't hear about it first here - apparently lots of other people do. So for what it's worth, here is what we think it all actually means:
• Hungary is now officially an irrelevant country that editors, readers and other news consumers around the world will never take seriously ever again. So if you are a "serious" foreign journalist working in Hungary, your only hope is that they start shooting Jews into the river again or something else similarly serious and interesting. Otherwise, make it light.
• If you were one of the several people who wrote in to tell us about this important story, thanks a mil and kisses, but you are a tool, because the whole thing was ginned up by politicians precisely so that you'd write in and tell us about it, and you fell for it.
• If you were one of the writers who pushed this story to editors abroad, you are what Lenin called a "useful idiot," except even more idiotic, and probably deeply corrupt, because you no doubt want Gyurcsány to win the upcoming election over the dreaded Fidesz.
• If it is true that Gyurcsány, who generally doesn't watch movies or the TV, watches "Love Actually" or "Notting Hill" every New Year's day, he is even more of an empty-headed sexless yuppie douchebag than we thought.
• Despite seeming all charming and witty, Hugh Grant is actually an empty-headed sexless yuppie douchebag whose best work to date involved getting blown by a black hooker many people still believe was a dude.
• Despite causing an early bounce in the polls for the Socialists, the entire thing will likely boomerang and benefit Fidesz leader Viktor Orbán, because while it's nice to have a leader who isn't a creepy and humorless peasant gangster dwarf, for most Hungarians a creepy and humorless peasant gangster dwarf is still better than an empty-headed sexless yuppie douchebag.
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