The Kids Are Fine. It's the Parents I'm Worried About

It seems like every week someone publishes a study allegedly demonstrating how wicked, debauched, cruel, twisted or just plain dumb today's youths are. The week before last the research purportedly revealed that Hungarian schoolgirls are the world's most aggressive, and spend their days giving their fellow lasses (and I suppose some others as well) Compton-style beat-downs. Now we learn that most Hungarian high school kids don't have a foggy idea what democracy is, while many who do think it's the pits.

The study was conducted by sociology students from three universities - Eötvös Loránd University (ELTE), the University of Debrecen and the University of Pécs - and had as subjects 7,000 high school students in Budapest and Baranya, Fejér and Hajdú-Bihar counties. While the would-be Ph.D.'s are still analyzing the data, the preliminary results are even more striking than those killer teenyboppers. According to a wrap-up of the study on stop.hu, most students don't think that democracy necessarily involves a multi-party system, the right to assembly, the respect of minorities' right, or even the ability of average people to have a say in politics. Less than three-quarters said they believed it should provide equality before the law, and even less than that knew who (the Hungarian Socialist Party) is actually running the country.

As you might imagine, the results of the study have led some to conclude that Hungary's highschoolers are dangerously out of touch. The director of the study seemed especially shocked that a full 30% of kids - and 62% of those in vocational schools - didn't know who was in charge in Budapest. No doubt there is a task force already in place at the Ministry of Education to deal with the problem, at least the part about the kids not knowing who was running the government.

My own study of the situation, however, points to another conclusion, which is that these kids are actually just normal teenagers, and it's the adults they have to deal with on a daily basis who are wicked, debauched, cruel, twisted and just plain dumb.

Okay, sure, high school kids should probably know who the prime minister is, just like Americans should know that Mexico isn't in Canada. But really, do they have anything to gain by "civic engagement" with Hungary's current political culture? I don't think so. Just consider the latest youth initiative from main opposition party Fidesz. They have promised that if they are put back into power they will introduce something called the "New Generation Card," that would give kids points for doing good things (like donating blood) that they can redeem for certain state benefits, like lower interest rates on home loans. Ditto for all the creepy or goofball emoluments the Socialists try to use to boost their numbers among the under 25ers, and rest of the meaningless BS spewed out by virtually everyone active in domestic politics. If these were my kids, I'd do whatever I could to keep them as far away from this sort of civic engagement as I could, and not just because the people giving them New Generation Card points for donating blood will probably just drink it.

Borka and I will wait here while you two go to city hall and get your shit together

In other parenting news, a story in last week's Népszabadság reveals that one third of all children born in Hungary are to unmarried couples, or to couples who aren't couples. The piece focuses on the story of Robi and Réka, who have been living together for seven years, and have two daughters, Hanga and Borka. Robi and Réka complain that because they aren't married, they weren't allowed to give their joint name to the kids as a last name (for a while, Hanga and Borka even had different last names). And their reasons for not getting married? According to Réka, it's because she thinks the big day will be a letdown. And Robi? "We have a thousand other things to do." Now I'm a strong believer that people have the right to live the way the live. But I've got a little news flash for Robi and Réka: This is not just about the two of you anymore. So put some shoes on and go down to City Hall and get married.

On the other hand, Robi and Réka are June and Ward Cleaver compared to the parents of a three-year-old boy from Pécs, Jenő Child With First Name Jenő. No, that's not a misprint. There really is a kid in Pécs legally known as Jenő Child With First Name Jenő, all thanks to (as if you had to ask) a couple of squabbling parents, and Hungary's even more dysfunctional family of government agencies. According to Magyar Nemzet, CWFNJ, who I will just call Jenőke, ended up with his unusual family name after his parents got divorced, and couldn't agree on what he should be called. Initially they agreed that he would get one of those double-barreled last names, but the permit was withdrawn by the guardian office (gyámhivatal) a month later. Then the local public administration office (közigazgatási hivatal) gave Jenőke his father's last name. This decision, however, was successfully appealed by the mother. Unfortunately, her second appeal to give Jenőke both parents' name failed again - this time on the basis of a ruling by the Interior Ministry - because the two aren't married. So Jenőke went back to being called JCWFNJ, and will stay that way until one or the other parent or government office prevails, or Jenőke is old enough to pick some other last name, which frankly strikes me as the best solution of all.

Don't worry, Miklós: we're dealing with integration problems, too

All this is not to suggest that there aren't plenty of good parents out there in Hungary doing their best to raise normal, non-psychotic kids - even politician parents. The scheduled electoral season opening assembly of the smaller opposition party MDF had to be postponed for a month because party leader Ibolya Dávid decided to travel around the world to spend some time with her 20-year-old son, Miklós, who is living in Australia and dealing with what hirado.hu, in a breathless exkluzív, gingerly dubbed "integration problems." All I can say is, good for you Ibi for knowing where your priorities lie, and for figuring out that the worst thing for young Miklós would be to come home and become "civically engaged" during this spring's political madness, after which he might move to Antarctica and change his name to Miklós YMWFNM.