After Hours at the Rudas: Hubba-hubba, or Just Rub-a-dub-dub?

Years ago, before its renovation, the Rudas Baths set a stunning backdrop for occassional parties organized by outside promoters, where the glorious setting, the tunes, and of course the half-naked kids hepped up on goofballs combined to create something truly over-the-top and hopelessly cool. Now that the 16th-century water wonderland has reopened with co-ed bathing from 22:00 to 04:00 every Saturday night, some are wondering whether this same liquid bliss can be had weekly. To find out, we dispatched a team of bathing enthusiasts to see just how hot Budapest's steamiest new nightspot is.

Our crew rolled in just before midnight, paid the Ft 2,000 (€7.90) flat fee, and had a beer from the canteen in the deserted, un-renovated, and decidedly un-festive waiting hall while waiting for cabins to free up. (Evidently, word has spread since the inaugural evening saw a turnout of four people.) Once inside, we were happy to discover that the changing room procedure has been re-engineered to such a degree that even tourists are unlikely to get confused.

And no, you don't get changed into the Rudas' traditional assless loincloth, which is too bad if you ask us. Instead, you bring your own swimsuit, just like at the Széchenyi and other mixed-company baths around town. Sucking our guts in on the count of three, we wandered out to find the five pools under the main cupola packed, though not unpleasantly so, with a 20- and 30-something crowd roughly evenly divided between men and women. Dominating two sides of the big pool's octagon were a group of characters straight out of Hungarian central casting: bunkók and bunkólányok, presumably illiterate but deeply tanned, their gold chains a-flashin' and fake titties a-bobblin'. They drank smuggled-in champagne straight from the bottle and glared at fellow bathers, all of whom gave them wide berth. Fortunately, these were the only muscle-bound gangsters we saw that night. Late-night Rudas, at least for now, is in no danger of becoming a bunkófürdő.

Would that it were

It is in danger, however, of becoming boring. Aside from the odd hot 'n' heavy make-out session here and there, we saw no trace of bad behaviour, flirting between strangers, or even mild drunkenness. Every girl seemed to be accompanied by a boyfriend, bathing attire ran towards the modest, and there was little bonhomie in the sulphurous air. In other words, it was a lot like a normal trip to the baths - except it was nighttime and there were no old people.

Don't get us wrong - we do feel silly criticizing, because in what other city can you plunk down ten bucks at three in the morning to take a steam bath in a centuries-old Ottoman monument? No, these late-night weekend openings are a wonderful development, and we look forward to further visits. There a few simple things, though, that the Budapest Spas and Hot Springs Corporation should consider:

1. Install a makeshift bar somewhere: The forlorn canteen out front just doesn't cut it, and once you're inside the baths, your beverage options disappear entirely.

2. Fix the lighting: During daytime operation, shafts of sunlight from the cupola's windows pierce through the steam and fill the main pool with an unearthly green hue, while the shadowy recesses of the periphery remain gloomily atmospheric. At nighttime, they merely turn on a bunch of too-bright 100 watt bulbs. Replacing these with a couple of spotlights would do wonders for the overall effect.

3. Sleaze it up: The Rudas had none of the trashy exhibitionism you see on a good day at, say, the Palatinus strand. What's going on here? It's a hot, steamy, frigging bathhouse! In Hungary! Get busy, people!

Having said all that, we don't propose turning this oasis of serenity, this mother of all chillout rooms, into a big rollicking party. Far from it. But we hear that the Cinetrip people are coming back with big plans for that sort of thing, but at the nearby Király Baths, meaning you may soon have a choice of 16th-cenutry Turkish steamroom parties every weekend, if one can imagine such a thing. - Sean Jordan, for Pestiside.hu