There's Still Plenty of Dumb Fun Without Driving Drunk

In a breakthrough case with wide-ranging legal and social implications, famed Hungarian actress Dorottya Udvaros last week was stripped of her driving license for three months, and ordered to pay a fine of Ft 35,000 (€140). As you might expect, Udvaros's crime involved driving and drinking. She was caught DUIing one night last March somewhere in District I, and refused to take a blood test. Apparently unimpressed by her celebrity, the officers on the scene cuffed the Kossuth Award-winning actress and hauled her off to the station. Her attorney felt the cops' response was excessive, and took her case to court. But the court apparently felt otherwise, and sent a sobering chill down the spine of everyone in Hungary who loves booze and hates public transport.

For several years now, Hungary, like the Czech Republic and some other countries in the region, has had a "zero tolerance" policy towards drinking and driving. While in places like the US, the police make you blow into the tube to see how much alcohol you have in your blood, the cops here do it to see whether you have alcohol in your blood. One drop and you're out, even (incredibly) if you are a famous actor like Udvaros (getting warmed up at right).

Of course, there is a big difference between enacting a regulation like this and actually enforcing it. For a long time the "not even one little beer" rule was largely theoretical, due to a very basic form of economic logic: people with cars tended to be the people with money, and people with money didn't have any compunction about getting out of a scrape by giving some of this money to police, who in turn didn't have much money and didn't have any compunction about taking some of it. But for some reason, that comfortable old arrangement has started to unravel, and even people with lots of money and zero qualms about using it to zap the zsaru are fining themselves suddenly having to watch themselves.

Don't get me wrong: There are still plenty of dirty cops in Hungary, and plenty more non-cops who wouldn't think for a second before trying to make the fuzz even dirtier. But I get the distinct sense that the situation is changing, and changing quite rapidly, perhaps due to a shakeup some time ago in the police high command.

Not being a drunk-driver myself, I can't give you a first-hand report on where you stand if you are caught red-nosed behind the wheel. But I can say that I have had several experiences that lead me to believe that the situation is changing. On one occasion earlier this year, I was stopped with my wife at a routine anti-DUI roadblock near Déli Pályudvár, only to discover that the paperwork for the car was in my wife's purse at home. We explained to the officer that we were religious about keeping our papers in order. He informed me of the ghastly penalty for driving without the correct documents. Then, when I reached for my wallet to check one last time if the thing was there, he gave me a horrified look, apparently thinking for a second that I was about to slip him a tenner. He looked the car over, said he believed (correctly) that ours was a rare lapse, firmly told me not to let it happen again, and waved us on. It was a textbook example of a police officer exercising his authority in a professional and responsible way, in the process gaining the respect of the people he has sworn to protect. And I've heard numerous stories along the same lines recently.

Again, I don't want to suggest that everything is hunky-dory on the force. But I think it's only fair to give credit where credit is due, especially in such a vital and often-overlooked area of public life. So here's to hoping our local boys (and girls) in blue keep it up. And in the meantime, no one says you can't go careening around town stewed to the gills. Just make sure to do it in the back seat.

While Hungary's cops are cleaning up their act, the world was stunned - okay, I was stunned - by the collapse of the Canadian government last week, over a corruption scandal. If you haven't followed the story, the long-serving Liberals were found to have been improperly funneling money to certain favored contractors for nebulous public-relations campaigns, and to be otherwise mired in what one judicial panel called a Liberal "culture of entitlement."

It's mine, all mine!

The uncharacteristically interesting turn in Canadian politics is not likely to have any direct impact on Hungary. But some internationally-minded local political-types are gleefully nudge-nudging each over the striking similarities between the case of the Canadian Liberals and that of Budapest Mayor Gábor Demszky. Both have been in power for as long as anyone can remember (the Canadian Liberals since 1993, Demszky since 1990); both embody the same sort of my-opponents-aren't-serious-enough-to-even-acknowledge smugness; both ostentatiously act like they are as clean as the driven snow, even after getting caught in rather uncompromising situations; and both were found to be spending public money on vague PR BS that everyone who didn't get in on the action fairly assumed was just rank favoritism.

Again, to be perfectly fair, hizhonor has been a pretty good mayor. Even so, it boggles the mind to think that he's warming up for another re-election race next year. Really, Gabi, it's been a pleasure, but give someone else a shot. Prediction: If Demszky stays in office for one term, it will be his last, and it won't end pretty. In fact, it could be downright Canadian.

On the other hand, there seem to be a fair number of Hungarians who wouldn't mind if someone like Demszky didn't even bother being re-elected, and just did whatever he pleased. A poll by research group Tárki released last week showed 21% of respondents saying they would not object to having a dictator. Oddly, only 14% said they were nostalgic about the communist era, and only 1% said they liked the idea of a military coup d'état. No word on how a police takeover was viewed, though my guess is that it might be somewhere in the middle, especially if they shoot cops who solicit bribes from motorists, especially if they are unreasonably high.

Can't we just have phone sex instead?

With less than 15% of Hungarians wallowing in nostalgia about the Communist past, it's no surprise that the successor to the Communist party - the ruling Hungarian Socialist Party (MSZP) - is keen to create other associations among voters. But it's still a little shocking to see how far they are willing to go. Last week it was revealed that the youth wing of the party, the Fiatal Baloldal ("Young Left"), is using the services of one Szabolcs Mészáros to recruit new members to the fold. If you haven't heard of him, Mészáros was the "winner" of the first run of "Való Világ" ("Real World"), Hungary's first properly idiotic reality show.

Apparently, the leaders of the FB think Mészáros can help deflect attention from an incident in Miskolc in which it was revealed that party members had covered up posters belonging to arch-rival Fidesz, and, from what I understand, had an improper relationship with the local police. The Fiatalis are using Mészáros in a campaign entitled "Hívd Szabit!" (Call Szabi!), in which prospective party members (you guessed it) call Szabi, and let him explain to them why red is cool. Pretty weak, but I guess it beats "Hívd Szalin!," at least among four out of five callers.

Speaking of drinking and leadership, an old friend from the states was recently visiting Hungary, and happened to attend a couple of local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, no doubt unnerved by all the nice bars I took him to. He was surprised to find several Hungarians in the small and somewhat disorganized English-language AA group, and asked them why they were doing their steps in English, rather than Hungarian. "We hate our group," one told him. "Because everyone spends the whole session bickering over the rules, and who should be charge." At which point my friend apparently sized control of the meeting, and showed them how to really, er, not party.