Software Emperor to Be Crowned King of Hungary

In a move being called a "landmark public-private partnership," the Republic of Hungary will officially join forces with global software giant Microsoft Corp. The merger of the 1,100-year-old European nation and the three-decade-old computer firm, which will take place on Jan. 1, 2005, was announced yesterday in Budapest by Hungarian IT Minister Kálmán Kovács and Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, representing Hungarian Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsány and Microsoft founder/Chairman Bill Gates, respectively. Under the unique transaction, Hungary will be a "legally subordinate but morally equal" partner to Microsoft. The new entity will be formally known as "The Micro-Hungarian Empire," with the former William Gates III playing a dual role as Emperor Bill I of Micro-Hungary and King Vilmos of Hungary.

As anticipated, ultimate authority in the Micro-Hungarian union will reside in Microsoft's historic capital of Redmond, Washington. But the new empire, which both sides said was the result of "a great compromise," will cede self-rule to Budapest in a number of key areas, including caring for the old and sick, non-technical education, street-cleaning and regulation of the country's sprawling networks of flower-shops and turbo-solariums. Ballmer noted that suspicion of software piracy or any use of open-source software or non-Microsoft products will be punished by summary execution throughout Micro-Hungary.

Analysts applauded the merger, pointing to the obvious synergies between Hungary, which has a population of just under 10 million and a GDP of €108 billion at purchasing-power-parity, and Microsoft, which currently employs 57,000 world-wide and has annual revenues of roughly €30 billion. Of special interest is the possibility of using Microsoft's AAA credit rating to improve Hungary's debt profile, which is currently saddled with a much lower A3 rating.

The agreement also formally codified a role for Gyurcsány as Hungary's new "country manager and plenipotentiary," subject to the approval of Bill/Vilmos. In a bow to a fond memory from Hungary's previous dual monarchy, Gyurcsány will be officially known as "Sissi," the pet name of the beloved 19-Century Empress Elisabeth/Erzsébet (1837 - 1898), who, like Gyurcsány, spent much time fussing with her hair and keeping trim.

In a related development, Microsoft will locate its new European software service center in Budapest. The new facility will focus on fixing the bugs and myriad other faults that plague Microsoft's "use-me-or-else" software, and will employ as many as 300 within the first few years of the new Micro-Hungarian domain, which will have the domain name www.micro-hungary.net.