Is It Really True You Can’t Take Pictures of Random Naked People on the Street in Hungary Anymore?

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With all the scary business going on in neighboring Ukraine, Hungary has suddenly lost its status as the region’s go-to location for stories about evil bad men in power conspiring to cast dark shadows over Europe’s otherwise bright blue future. But the other day the Guardian put the spotlight back on the EU’s reigning #1 democratic backslider for a few precious minutes, with an ominous piece about a new law that among other things allegedly makes it necessary for anyone taking a photograph in public to ask advance permission of anyone who will appear in the picture, or else! more >>

What the Falk is a Statue of Columbo Doing in Downtown Budapest?

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Late yesterday there was a flurry of photos on the Internet of a small spot on the northern edge of Falk Miksa utca in Budapest’s District V, where a statue of the American television detective “Columbo” had been unveiled earlier in the day. more >>

13 Injured as Passenger Train Plows into Corn Truck

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Thirteen people were injured when a commuter train collided with a truck carrying corn at a level crossing in Csongrád county shortly after noon Monday. more >>

Body in Lake Match for Suspect in Wife-Dog-Cat Slaying

Partner-pet killer said to have committed suicide.  more >>

Government Decrees Standardized Smoking Notices With Special Help for Foreigners, Idiots

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A new government decree to come into force on March 1st will mandate standardized, multi-lingual notices designating smoking and non-smoking areas in public buildings across Hungary. more >>

Six Carcasses Recovered from Hole in South Hungarian Village (Photos)

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Police in Southern Hungary have made a gruesome discovery in the form of six carcasses wrapped in plastic and stashed in a manhole in the Bács-Kiskun County village of Madaras (above). more >>

25 Reasons Budapest Almost Topped List of Top 25 Cities in the World

Last week Budapest was named the second-best city in the world to visit in a “readers choice awards” poll conducted by Condé Nast Traveler magazine. Coming less than a month after being named the third most honest city in the world, the news was both a source of pride for denizens of the Hungarian capital as well as some head-scratching over just how the place did quite so well. Here are a few possible answers:

1. Lots of great nightlife, because young people have nowhere to go the next morning due to the high unemployment

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2. The country’s most important tourist attraction is a creepy withered hand in a fancy box that lights up when you drop a coin in it

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3. You can see all the other important cultural sights in just a day, leaving you plenty of time to drink yourself sick

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4. You can see things that make it seem like World War II happened just yesterday

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5. Or is likely to happen all over again tomorrow!

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6. The national airline is a budget carrier whose name in American slang means “urinate”

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7. The average resident is so old and poor that almost anyone visiting will feel young and rich by comparison

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8. Fewer Russians than in regional competitor Prague, because when they arrive in Budapest in large numbers Hungarians kill them

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9. Fewer Mozartkugel stores than in regional competitor Vienna, because even Hungarians know how tacky they are

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10. Lots of attractive and educated women who are not afraid to dress and act like prostitutes, including this former prime minister’s stepdaughter

best-city-7 more >>

Time to Catch Up With Budapest’s Asshole Car of the Year!

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As if one ever needed any further evidence that in many ways Budapest is just a very big small town, it seems the perpetually illegally-parked, handicapped driver-badged, Slovak-plated Bentley GT that we earlier christened our city’s asshole car of the year has become something of a local Internet meme. A few months after we made our determination the matte-black douchemobile started popping up in various computer-enhanced scenes on the delightful better-life-through-Photoshopping Facebook page BudapestAlternative. Yesterday, a greatest hits roundup of BudapestAlternative’s recent work on budapest.poster.hu led off with a version entitled Szóval Michael Knight a Bentley tulajdonosa, or, “So, Michael Knight [the protagonist in 1980s television series "Knight Rider," played by American actor/großen popstar David Hasselhoff] is the owner of the Bentley,” with the “the” in “the Bentley” clearly meaning not “a” Bentley but the Bentley, i.e. the matte-black asshole one.

And now the latest in asshole car of the year news! more >>

Influx of Romanians Clears Intangible Pall of Pseudo-Decay in Budapest, Kick-Starts Hip “Ruin Pub” Craze

Via USA Today and award-winning writer and PR consultant Marla Cimini, we learn of an interesting new trend in Budapest involving something called “ruin pubs”:

Throughout the last few decades, the neglect continued as a large Romanian population relocated to Budapest in the 1980′s and moved into many of the empty houses and apartments. A intangible pall hung over the area until very recently when the ruin pubs kicked-started an unexpected renaissance. Today, the area is red hot and flourishing with a real hipster vibe.

Read the whole thing for yourself. It boasts its own outrageous personality and vibe.

Budapest is the Third Most Honest City in the World. Honest.

honestSooooooooooo it seems lots of locals have been sharing stories like this one in the (UK) Daily Mail about a forthcoming issue of Reader’s Digest (OMG remember Reader’s Digest!) featuring a study that purports to have determined some of the world’s most and least honest cities, based on how many wallets purposely left behind on the streets of said cities were returned. As the table to the left indicates, Budapest was tied for third most honest city, after eight of the 12 wallets abandoned somewhere in town somehow showed back up. This means Budapest is 30% more honest that Berlin, twice as honest as Zurich and a full four times more honest than Madrid, which is all the more impressive when you note that the Spanish capital has 100% more honestidade than the Portuguese capital of Lisbon, which in turn has only 12.5% of the becsületesség of Budapest. And it could be true, as recent surveys have found young Hungarians increasingly honest, if only about he pointlessness of being honest.

Here’s Your Free Hug. Now Go Die, You S*&T-Eating Foreigner

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They say Hungary is a land of contrasts where outsiders are often unable to know whether the locals are on balance friendly or hostile. And then there’s this.

Two Germans Get Life for Burying Two Other Germans Alive in Mohács

Pair found guilty of multiple premeditated murder for financial gain, carried out with “extreme cruelty.”  more >>

25 Ways You Know You’re Trapped In An All-Inclusive Hotel in Hungary

Okay we’re back from summer vacation! And what a joy it was – especially the “all-inclusive” weekend we spent at a certain unnamed hotel at Lake Balaton. Not!

1. From the outside, the hotel looks like it could be the Moldovan Ministry of Telecommunications, except uglier and more run down.

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2. Everywhere inside is the “purple pain” polyester polychrome pattern fabric used to cover up dirt, mold and semen stains on hotel bedspreads and drapes throughout Central and Eastern Europe.

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3. There are speakers hidden in the trees that blare techno and shitty pop.

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4. Most of the advertised “beach” is actually a stone and concrete retaining wall.

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5. The small stretch of sand is patrolled by a pack of fiercely territorial feral swans.

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6. Which leave behind piles of hot sandy swan shit.

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more >>

Coke-Soaked Kiddy Clothes Hottest Drug Fashion in Hungary

Hungary’s customs authorities celebrated this year’s International Day against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking with a video showing how they recently made a very special bust at Budapest Airport. more >>

Bookmark Us for Regular Updates on Hungary’s Spreading Q Fever Epidemic!

As you have probably heard, Budapest and much of Hungary is currently facing an unprecedented threat of flooding from the mighty Danube river. Indeed, so potentially dire is the situation that Hungary’s increasingly vibrant second-language media have rushed to cover the unfolding drama, with publications like Budapest Times, Caboodle.hu, The Daily and XpatLoop all offering regular updates, and even deploying proxies to publicly squabble over which one has the freshest and most comprehensive info.

Meanwhile, no one seems to be paying attention to another looming threat: Hungary’s Q Fever epidemic. more >>

BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg was Boozing in Budapest While You Were Wasting Time on Facebook!

It somehow lacks the urgency of OMG ANGELINA IS BACK IN TOWN!!! WITH ZAHARA AND SHILOH!!! or even PARIS HILTON WILL BE IN BUDAPEST ON MONDAY!!!, but we’d be remiss for not mentioning that FACEBOOK FOUNDER MARK ZUCKERBERG AND HIS WIFE WERE OR ARE IN BUDAPEST!!! more >>

Fortune Teller Uses Magic Powers to Make Client’s Fortune Disappear

She promised to use her powers to cleanse a Hungarian family of a curse. The only thing she cleaned out was her client’s bank account, using one of the oldest tricks in the grifter handbook. more >>

No Hope for One-Legged Hungarian Climber Gone Missing in Himalayas

Zsolt Erőss and colleague assumed dead after scaling 8,586 meter peak.  more >>

Judge Sighs As Youths Behind Shooting Range Massacre Get Just 20 Years

Two youths convicted of gunning down two older men at a recreational shooting range in Sopron received prison sentences that have left observers wondering whether Hungary is tough enough on teen crime. more >>

Halfbreed Purebreed Sweeps World Dog Show in Budapest

Say hello to Bottom Shaker My Secret, a.k.a. “Jimmy”  more >>

World Record for Mind-Numbing Magic Shows Broken in South Hungary

A Hungarian magician has performed street magic for 31 hours, breaking the Hungarian record, and most probably also the world record. more >>

Who to Blame When Hungary Loses Eurovision Tonight

In a few short hours Hungary will once again likely see its traditional sacrificial Eurovision goat summarily slaughtered on the stage of the annual pop music competition that every year serves to remind the world how sad and painfully uncool most Europeans are. But this time there’s a twist, as our doomed offering goes through the motions singing not in the lingua franca of Eurovision (English), but actual Hungarian! more >>

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